Adding value, or stroking your ego?

15th November by Harsha Perera

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Adding value, or stroking your ego? Coaching conversations

Every one of us wants to feel like we are adding value, both in the workplace and beyond. When we make comments, suggestions and criticisms. But, what if sometimes you are not adding value at all, but rather doing the opposite?

Feeling appreciated

I am sure that many of you in your careers have often done excellent pieces of work, only to receive unnecessary, cosmetic or downright meaningless comments for changes. Comments that sometimes make you scratch your head and wonder, “Really? Is that even necessary?”

What we forget is that people (often more senior) just want to feel like they are adding value. Feel like they have done their bit. And, this is probably linked to the deep and fundamental human need of wanting to be appreciated. But, that does not mean such behaviour is useful.

Stroking your ego

The reality is that such behaviour may not be about adding value at all. Unconsciously, it could easily become more about stroking one’s own ego. It might be hard for people to accept that their input is sometimes (or often) not required. The problem is so pervasive that you hear of such tricks as including a deliberate spelling error on page one or two of a draft presentation or paper to be circulated to senior persons.

The hope is that the spotting of the spelling error will make said very senior company persons feel like they have added value straightaway and therefore avoid making superfluous and unnecessary changes. And, I can tell you from my own experiences that it works. What is really sad is that such tricks have to even be used.


The illusion of adding value is not just restricted to senior company persons. This behaviour can go on at all levels, whether you are chairperson of the board or a graduate trainee mentoring an intern. Furthermore, adding value can also become dangerously mixed with insecurity. Mixed with wanting to feel like you should have something to add because you have more experience or are more senior.

It then takes humility and self-reflection to really check that what you are suggesting is truly beneficial. And, not motivated by insecurity or the need to just feel like you have contributed. It takes courage to ask: am I really adding value or just stroking my ego?  


A graduate of the AoEC Advanced Practitioner Diploma in Executive Coaching and Team Coaching Certificate, Harsha Perera is an executive and life coach at Executive Coaching London. Article kindly reproduced from